It’s like an episode of South Park. When did this small backwards skid-row adjacent neighborhood start attracting Hollywood Celebrities and what can we do to get rid of them?? Now granted, some of them are super cool, like Benetio Del Toro. Some of them don’t really live here, like Johnny Depp. Some of them like Giovani Rabissi would be here even if they weren’t celebrities… and then we get to the really dangerous ones. The reality stars (not the competition stars, the famous-for-being-famous stars). 

Yes, a cast member from The Hills is coming to our tiny little town. I’m frightened. I know you are too. Why you ask? It’s what follows them that scares me. Their sheep. God forbid the day there’s a line at Broadway Bar with paps outside and cameras following around the psudo-stars inside. Now mark my words, this will happen to DTLA. It’s our destiny. 

As we grow into our rightful place among the worlds most metropolitan cities we will have to learn how to tolerate people of all types, even douchbags. I just thought I had time. I thought we all had time.